Believe it or not, I wasn’t always kind to myself. For years…I would allow negative self talk to cloud my mind and influence how I felt. Maybe it was the stress I put on myself to be perfect or as close to it as I could, or the constant fear of not being good enough, for my family, friends, coaches…for myself. It took me a really long time, a lot of self love, patience, understanding and acceptance for me to be at peace with who I am and make the conscious decision to keep striving for better, not because I felt inadequate, but because that’s what I deserved.
You deserve to keep loving yourself, everyday. You deserve to feel good, inside and out. You deserve to look in the mirror and smile at the person staring back at you. You deserve so much more than you are allowing yourself to have.
Often times it’s not the judgement of others that tarnishes our self worth, it’s our own. We constantly compare ourselves to the person next to us, celebrities, professional athletes, etc. we get so wrapped up in what we aren’t, that we forget all about what and who we are.
There’s one Kelsey Coty Hankins in this world, and I am damn proud to be her. I am unique, strong, independent, caring, smart, funny (sometimes) hardworking, and I have a really big heart. There’s no one else like me, and there is no one else like you.
Let go of the desire to be like or look like someone else. God created you as you are, perfect in each and every way. Embrace who you are, while striving to be the best you, you can be.
The moment I stopped trying to be everything for everyone else, my life changed, my self perception changed, my anxiety decreased and I started to love who God created me to be.
I hold my son in front of the mirror every single day and I look at him and say “I am strong, I am kind, I am smart, I am caring, I am funny, I am loving, I am handsome, I am honest, I am confident, etc. and I am all of these things because of who God created me to be” I want my son to always know in his heart that he is ENOUGH, that he is loved beyond measure and that he was knitted together perfectly by his Lord and Savior! I never want him to question his worth or to feel inadequate in the presence of others, but to stand true to himself and his beliefs and to have confidence in who he is.
I’ve never felt more sure of myself, than I do today. I’ve never loved who I am and who I am continuing to become, more than I do now that I am a mother. I look in the mirror – hair dirty and messy, spit up and milk on my shirt, bags under my eyes and to tell you the truth…I feel so beautiful I could cry writing this. I actually feel genuinely beautiful. In my very own skin, inside and out, no makeup, no pretending, just me. I’m so proud of my journey to where I am today.
I am thankful beyond measure that God made me a mama. This little boy continues to change my world everyday, in the best way possible. I never knew a love like this existed.
I’m so sad for the girl who never felt she was enough, who constantly compared herself to others. If I knew then what I know now, I would hug her so tight. I would look her in the eye and say “I am strong, I am kind, I am smart, I am caring, I am funny, I am loving, I am handsome, I am honest, I am confident, and I am all of these things because who God created me to be.” But I am also so thankful for that girl and for what she went through, because today, she is strong and today she doesn’t just feel, she knows that she is enough.
My dear friends, if you are struggling to believe in yourself, if you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself, if you walk around with your head hanging down…I urge you to look in the mirror and speak kind words to your self, day in and day out, and to not just say them, but to truly believe them. I beg you to surround yourself with people who make you feel loved and accepted, I encourage you to not look back, to not compare yourself to others, but to look within and realize how wonderfully made you are.
Until next Time On Kelsey’s Chronicles