Oceans.

I would be lying if I said there weren’t times this past week where I was feeling sorry for myself and questioning why certain things were happening, and especially all at once. But our God is so good y’all let me just tell you that 😭 I want to share something very personal with you about my birth story, my testimonial if you will.

*If birth is not your forte, maybe you would find this blog post to be inspiring.

I’m here with my sweet boy in my carrier, listening to some of our specials songs as we always do. I sing to him as he peacefully falls asleep, something I cherish so much. The song “Oceans” comes on, the very same song that was playing in the background as I brought my son into this world. I’m so emotional writing this, as I can feel all the emotions rush back from that exact moment.

This is my testimonial and I cry every time I think about it.

My labor and delivery was a very spiritual experience for me. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I gave it all to God and trusted him all the way through. I would question whether or not I could physically do it and I was instantly reminded of my reason, my boy 😭 , he was preparing me for the best moment and journey of my life.

February 26th at 8:28 pm, I’m nearly an hour into pushing; tired and in pain, eager to meet this angel I have been growing inside me for the past 9 months. I felt an incredibly intense sensation and I lock eyes with my midwife as she speaks my name…”Kelsey…” I knew something wasn’t right and I knew exactly what she wanted to do. I instantly started crying, replying “no, please no, no.” I knew in my heart that there was another way, than to cut me for my baby to enter the world. I knew that wasn’t His plan, I just knew in my heart, I prayed with everything in me and trusted His plan for me and 10 seconds later, my beautiful baby boy was born, without intervention. God was there with me in that exact moment. It was so unbelievably beautiful and freeing and emotional. He heard my prayers, and he provided, as he always does, in the most profound way. I felt so vulnerable and scared, but I had faith in His plan.

“You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find you in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand

And I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours and you are mine.”

So here I am swaying to the music, holding my sweet boy, crying as I am brought back to that exact moment he made his entrance and changed my whole world and here God is again, showing me that His plan is far greater than I could ever imagine. That all of the bumps in the road mean so little when I truly have so much. He’s placed me in this exact moment to teach me to slow down, to stop worry and stressing, to live in the moment and trust in Him.

Just when things get tough, we are reminded that it is all part of a much larger journey. Tough times don’t last, but they teach us and prepare us for all that is ahead.

If you are struggling. Give it to God, tell him your troubles, your worries, pray about it, and know in your heart, he hears you and it’s all apart of his plan. Stop trying to understand, stop questioning why, stop feeling sorry for yourself and just have faith. Stand so firm in your belief that God has a divine plan for you, that the negativity and darkness of the world cannot touch you.

Until Next Time On Kelsey’s Chronicles