Note to self:
My worth is not found in whether I have completed my to-do list or not. Nor is it found in a clean house, made bed, tantrum free toddler, or any of the other pressures I so often put on myself in order to feel “accomplished.”
You know those days where you just feel like you have rocked it as a mom? Like you did the damn thing. Like well-balanced meals, good naps, toys are cleaned up, we got fresh air, read books, etc etc etc….yeah I haven’t felt like I’ve had one of those in a while.
I’ve been experiencing intense anxiety as of lately, and I think part of that is feeling as though I can never catch up or is it that my expectations are too high?
When I reflect on my day after the baby goes to sleep I often am disappointed about the day I just completed. I didn’t do enough, I wish I could’ve spent more time playing with Ryker outside doing what he loves, I shouldn’t have freaked out over the mess that was made…
SHIFT YOUR FOCUS! Yes I am talking to you. And me. I need this especially.
What about the moment your child woke up from his nap smiling from ear to ear calling “mama” because all he wanted and needed was you, in all your mess, he wants you.
What about the smiles and laughs exchanged while you listen to his favorite songs as you work away on your computer.
What about the constant, relentless effort you give, the genuine love in your heart for all that you do.
What about the small moments – those matter. Mama, why have you forgotten all the things that make you great, that make the day great?
You’ve chosen to focus on the wrong, the bad, the frustrating, and have completely overlooked the joy, the love, the teachings.
Life is about moments, bite sized snapshots that make up a big beautiful picture.
Once you start managing your expectations of what you thought life would be like, what parenting would look like, what work, marriage, school would look like and start appreciating what is – the good, the bad, the uncertain…you can breathe. You can live by moments, you don’t have to take everything on all at once, you can digest moment by moment, not weighing yourself down with all that is to come, nor shaming yourself for what was not done.
As long as I’m not giving up. I’m rocking it. As a mom, a wife, a sister, a friend, a child of God. And so are you.
Until Next Time on Kelsey’s Chronicles.